i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize