she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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