In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
being pregnant is like rehab
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
