what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
