you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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