Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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