Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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