Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
