The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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