fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
