Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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