Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
