I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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