just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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