it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
