hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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