i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
