I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it glows. i had to have it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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