Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I just shit out all my problems.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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