Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize