oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
