his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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