is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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Use "feeling words"
Yay
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need to sanitize my soul.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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