i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
