girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
