Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
