that's an acceptable place to lick
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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