So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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