Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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