I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
did you just send me my own nude
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
