$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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