He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
