I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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