There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize