Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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