I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
