Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
