there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize