I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
