Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
