is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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