Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize