and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
