Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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