Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
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We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I just sharted jello shots
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