I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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