brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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