If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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