You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
