Umm I'm too high to move.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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