I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
