it was like his penis was on wheels.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
