She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
