Someone shit on the floor
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just high enough for therapy.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
