I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
