peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize