I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
