Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
