My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So apparently I’m into choking now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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