My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So much rum. So many feels.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize