Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
