Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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