my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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