It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
