you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
