is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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